Roberta R. Carr, Author
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A Special Lady

6/1/2015

10 Comments

 
Picture
Within the next few weeks, I will publish my third novel, The Bennett Women, which is dedicated to my mother, Ruth Margaret Urbanek. Mom died when I was only thirty-nine, but her influence has remained a steady force in my life.
      She was born in Kansas, the oldest of four siblings. She grew up on a farm, surrounded by crops, cows, horses, chickens, lightening bugs, and acres of land to roam. Many women from her generation chose not to pursue a professional career, but mom had other ideas. With my grandfather’s support, she completed a three-year nursing program. That's her graduation picture on the left.
     She fell in love with a fellow Kansan who had his own ambitions. Mom and Dad relocated to southern California during World War Two where he landed a job as a machinist at McDonnell-Douglas. She obtained her California license, and began a long, distinguished career as a registered nurse. My parents bought a home in Bellflower, settled down, raised three children, and never looked back.
     A couple of months before Mom died, I caught her looking at a reflection of herself in the bathroom mirror. She glanced at me, but didn’t say anything right away. Concerned about her forlorn expression, I inquired about her thoughts. 
     She took a minute before revealing, “When I close my eyes, I become a young girl again, riding my horse across the Kansas prairie. I have wavy brown hair, few worries, and my whole life ahead of me.” She stared into the mirror and sighed. “Who is this wrinkly old lady staring back at me? I hardly know her; it’s not how I feel inside. 
     Her comments triggered an emotional conversation about life and aging; a moment of insight from one woman to another. She pointed to her reflection and said to me, “This will be you one day, Roberta. It happens sooner than you think. Live each day in ways that make you happy.”
     After mom passed away, I had little time to think about anything else except raising my daughters, treasuring my husband, nurturing friendships, and carving out a satisfying professional career. Even though she’s been gone for a long time, that image of her looking into the mirror has always stayed with me.
     Many factors influence my work as a writer, but mom’s spirit is at the heart of The Bennett Women. It’s a tender yet unflinching story that examines what moves us from daughter, mother, and grandmother to something much deeper. I wish I could have another day with my mom to thank her for guiding me with her quiet wisdom; to let her know about the positive influence she has had on three generations.
     And one last thing. I'd tell her she was right about the mirror. I miss you, Mom.

10 Comments
Barbara Mog
6/1/2015 12:28:37 am

Bless you Roberta. Yes, your mother was a wonderful person and a strong woman. And, she raised 3 wonderful children. She is proud of you. Looking forward to your new novel!

Reply
Roberta
6/1/2015 12:46:11 am

Thanks, Barb! I have such wonderful memories of growing up on Faywood.

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Gloria Zachgo link
6/1/2015 03:09:44 am

I never truly appreciated my mom until after she had passed on to another life.

I can hardly wait for your book. Just reading about my aunt brought back so many memories.

Love you cuz!

Reply
Roberta
6/1/2015 08:47:25 am

Thanks for your support! I named a minor character after Aunt Esther :-).

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Shirley Corbus link
6/1/2015 08:39:29 am

Ruth and Ed were two of my favorite neighbors. Faywood was a good neighborhood to grow up in. This was before your were born, but the grownups used to have polka parties. They were fun times for the kids too.
One day my son and daughter were talking about a lot of the kids they went to school with, and how some of them ended up. My daughter looked at me and said "You and dad don't know how lucky you were with Mike and I." I said "Oh yes, believe me, I do know." I fully appreciate the people they grew up to be. Your mother knew how important she was in your life, and she understood what a wonderful family she raised. Your new book will be a lovely tribute to her.

Reply
Roberta
6/1/2015 08:52:21 am

Shirley - Thank you for the trip down memory lane. I remember many a Saturday night when we broke out the accordion, and had endless polka parties (I can still dance a mean polka!). You and I are so fortunate to have parents who left us with a ton of terrific memories.

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Kristy
6/1/2015 11:58:33 am

You're amazing. I'm lucky that you are my mom.

Reply
Gaye Thomson
6/1/2015 01:20:54 pm

So wonderful of you to publish this. I have such wonderful memories of your Mom. We spent many a day together and she will always remain in my heart!

Reply
Debbi Kightlinger
6/1/2015 02:01:15 pm

Roberta, Such a lovely tribute to your mother. As we grow older we appreciate our mothers wisdom more and more. I can't believe she's been gone over 20 years. You were way too young to lose your beloved mother and dearest confidante. You always had such a close and loving relationship. She would have so enjoyed watching your life unfold. I'm sure she would be so very proud of you and your most recent accomplishments as a novelist. The Bennett Women is a beautiful tribute to her.

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Redding Water Features link
10/15/2022 01:43:23 pm

Hello mmate great blog

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“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou